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may also occasionally contain implicit and explicit references to

tobacco, alcohol, and other substances, as well as sexuality,

and favors logic over dogma, any or all of which may offend some,

and whereas I may occasionally give disclaimers,

but I do NOT give "trigger warnings,"

therefore, be it resolved that: this blog is intended for mature readers.

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Monday, February 23, 2015

Dad, 1927-2015, Requiesce in Pace, Musica, et Amore

Asleep with his guitar back in September.  I love you, Dad.  Rest in Peace, in Music, and in Love.

This photo, taken on 1 September 2014, was the last photo I took of Dad.  Later in September, he started a series of stays in hospitals, the nursing home, and a physical rehabilitation facility which continued until the middle of February.  He passed from this life at home, as was his desire.  These past several months were often miserable for him, and his last day was agony even to watch.  When it happened, though, it happened very quickly.  He is at peace, and no longer suffering.  I can take some solace in that.

In the casket, he looked more peaceful than he had in a long time.  For the past three years, I have done my best to take care of him, and we were almost constant companions.  Now the house is empty except for me and the cats.  I made sure that there were flowers from the cats, as well as from myself.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me now.  Mom passed four years ago, and until Dad passed, he was my protector, my defender, my helper.  Now I am alone but for the cats, and not certain how to proceed.  Fortunately, I have friends whose advice I have already sought out and I will be listening to them.  But it's a frightening prospect to lose the person who was one's stability.  Snow has covered the land.  The community is still.  I suppose that the thaw will bring new responsibilities to me that I have not had to deal with in the past.  I will endeavor to be prepared for the challenges, in the hope that he will be proud of me.

Dad in healthier times, when Mom was still alive.

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